It is difficult to make a film about depression and alienation that does not result in a depressing film, which the audience finds hard to connect with. A consolation is that Rachel Lambert’s indie has a fantastic performance by Daisy Ridley in the lead role of Fran; it gives you enough reason to watch even when things get a little dark. We are talking about Sometimes I Think About Dying Movie.
The first time we see Ridley is as Fran, an office worker who prides herself on her proficiency with spreadsheets. She keeps her co-workers at arm’s length, speaking barely in the office and moving around her house like a phantom. However, careful observation of office scenes — racking one’s brains to come up with genuine words for a farewell card or suffering through ice breaking activities during meetings – contrasts sharply with Fran’s death visions characterized by dreaminess. As suggested by its title, she daydreams about how she will die.
Ridley makes Fran laugh when he joins the team therefore motivating her to try some human contact— which apparently doesn’t come easily to her. This results in something like courtship though so subtly done that it almost cannot be seen happening. But what this produces is somewhat strange: while Lambert clearly wishes to imply that Fran has withdrawn from society into some solitary place inside herself; there is no indication whatsoever that her inner life is very loving or hospitable. Her visions of death are beautifully shot but isolated; here isn’t someone dreaming of being exonerated in some great wrong or dying heroically. Neither does she engage herself with art or the (stunning) scenery around their seaside home nor actually do any other thing lonely people often find joy and comfort in doing. She lacks color and just looks sort of beige.
Moreover, this means than neither Fran’s reality nor her daydreams have been given visual contrast like those in Walter Mitty or Chicago; these dreams simply creep into real life unnoticed sometimes making one fail to see them as separate from life.
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