The trailer has already raised a lot of eyebrows and questions, but I don’t feel like I’m any wiser than most terrified potential viewers after watching the entire 83 minutes of the film. Is this really coming to our cinemas? Yes, it looks like that. It was seriously filmed in Canada and the mysterious Tina Adams is behind it. What is actually going on here?! So we are talking about The Perfect Kiss movie.
A little research reveals that the screenwriter and director (and producer, supporting actress, and probably everything else down to the clapperboard) Tina Adams is actually Martina Adamcová. She experienced her peak in the first half of the 90s, you may remember her from a number of revealing roles in the films Playgirls, Playgirls II, Naked for Sale and Tank Battalion. However, she is now married in Canada and decided to make a film under an artistic semi-pseudonym. And when you’re in Canada, it’s obviously a problem not to meet Lucka Vondráčková, who until recently warmed the family hearth of Tomáš Plekanek. Word gave word, and the ladies created this for Canadian (and apparently Plekanco’s, hehe) money.
I have nothing against making dreams come true, I would like to have some myself, but movies like this take me far away from them. The script makes no sense, and if any sane dramaturg existed, this bunch of random scenes couldn’t even be filmed. Technically, this is roughly the overseas level of B-TV, i.e. still something that could possibly hold its own in the cinema in the domestic competition. But pretty locations of snowy city parks aren’t everything, especially when the camera sometimes likes to go somewhere where there is nothing.
From the first scene, in which Vondráčková crashes her car half off-frame, we don’t really understand what’s going on, and it doesn’t get any better with time. Her character Tanya is a confused thirty-year-old who, classically in the spirit of romantic comedies, doesn’t know what’s going on around her and makes stupid decisions. He lives with his parents, who happen to be Russian spies (?!?). In a story that leads nowhere, one man leads her into a real estate scam, another is an infantile idiot, a third abuses her, and a fourth Tanya hates for no reason. Don’t worry, true love will win in the end, but how much nonsense leads to it, reason remains above that. Golden real life!
Although the film is rather appallingly dubbed (Vondráčková does speak for herself, but she plays significantly more in the dubbing than on the screen, which is an amusingly bizarre difference), it goes to our cinemas with the English title. Why on earth? In addition, the title is funny in that it has almost no connection with the plot – the heroine experiences a nice kiss as part of an insignificant side romance, so it makes absolutely no sense to name the film like that. But by this time it is probably clear that there is no need to look for logic here.
But what do I have to complain about and I really don’t understand why it keeps repeating itself – once again this is a completely inhumane film. All of the characters are extremely stupid, and all of the female characters are also manipulative and scheming. Why is it so necessary for people to be mean to each other in such stereotypical ways? And when someone is going to speak out against evil, they say something like “I hate bullies because they’re despicable!” So a good old combination of absurdity and disgust at the human lot.
Finally, I give a conciliatory duo. Partly because, compared to the recent Revizors , The Perfect Kiss has at least in some places the technical parameters of a film. A crappy movie. And thanks to the nonsense of the dialogues, it is possible for a person to appreciate this unwanted Dadaism in a sufficiently intoxicated state. Still, it’s probably the most exaggerated second point I’ve ever given. So don’t go for it, don’t care and just wish Lucca an overseas film slot. Probably nothing more can be done with it.
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